Phrases That Wind Me Up

“Basically, …”

If your sentence after ‘basically’ breaches a 3-5 word limit, then your leading word is completely irrelevant. Or, you dont have the mental ability to be precise. Both of which, make you stupid. If you’re using it in a nervous “I’m going to wrap this up quick” way, just don’t. You sound more insulting i.e. “I’m going to keep this simple because you won’t understand”.

“To be honest…”

Again, if your honesty is not clear, succinct and tinged with a little embarrassment then you’re not being honest, you’re being bitchy.

“At the end of the day…”

Nobody takes five minutes out before they fall into bed to asses the day and gather a meme or gage their level of success for that day, unless they’re the freaky ever-happy-optimist people who have lost grip on reality and are climbing into bed with their deceased and rotting Grandma.

“She/He is so talented.”

You are witnessing the beautiful act that comes from hours upon hours of patience crushing practice. It’s insulting to put the effort that is hidden under a guise of ease and verges on unbelievable, into a simple lucky birth-right. Unless you’re talking about the length of a guy’s dick.

“Oh, just, I don’t know.”

Did you just end that meandering five-minute monologue with a shot to the head? If you have then it’s because you’ve committed some poor sap to your musings when you clearly had no idea what shit was even coming out of your mouth. If you don’t get slapped, your listener has a dull mind or raging loin.